Here's something I write to you, to explain to you why I do the things I do.
At first I thought that I was for the best, but as it turns out I'm just like the rest.
I'm starting to clearly see, that that's really not what I'm meant to be.
When I first met you, you were troubled and you had a bit of misery but I could still see that you were pretty happy.
Now that I've come along, I somehow feel that for you it's just like a sad song.
I feel for you when you cry, I know how you feel without me even having to try.
I wanted nothing more than to make you happy, but now I can see I just make you feel crappy.
I wake up everyday thinking about you, sometimes I wish it weren't true.
I'm so conflicted with you, that I feel like I need to kneel on a church pew.
I pray EVERYDAY that you gain clarity, and a huge amount of serenity.
I want you to be free of thought, so you can forget the evil that was wrought.
I wanted nothing but the best for you, even if it means me being out of the queue.
I want you to know that each moment with you, for me is something magical. No matter how mundane or trivial.
I've always felt like a set of lyrics, misplaced from it's melody aimlessly wandering the sound waves of eternity but in you I found my harmony.
I wish you felt the same way, but I know that for you it's like finding a needle in a stack of hay.
I know you've got a lot to handle and that you're still broken. I thought that maybe your walls were something I could crack open.
But it seems you need isolation, which I'll give to you without hesitation.
Because that's what you do for the people you love, you'll give them A,B,C and all of the above.
I know now that I have to walk away, because in the end I know that without me you'll wake up to a better day.
So now I think I should say goodbye, and hope and pray to God that I don't cry.
Because the best thing in my life right now is you, now I guess I'll just have to make do.
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Why you have to make me want to cry boy? So early in the day man! Haha. But seriously, Ginoww, I feel for you.
ReplyDelete"Because that's what you do for the people you love, you'll give them A,B,C and all of the above."
i think your decision is fair for both of you. =)
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ReplyDeleteDespite all the downs you've experienced in loving this girl, it's still very comforting to know that you can love that much. Hang in there, Ginoboi. Pray hard and what you're looking for will come to you... In His time.
ReplyDeletejust passed by your blog through a friend's page. interesting posts, and <3hearts<3 to the Minima template!
ReplyDelete--
Bicolano blogger
Somehow I can really relate... hopefully you'll find the girl of your dreams soon... ^_^
ReplyDeleteIt amazes me how others, like you, stand in the same position as I do. Hugs my friend.
ReplyDeleteI suddenly remembered another poem which used oranges as a metaphor. I've never met someone who is as helplessly romantic. You should watch/read Densha Otoko or Train Man if you haven't. : D
ReplyDeletevery heartfelt! i think that left me teary eyed. you know what, seriously, (and I'm not saying this for anything more that what it is) but a thousand girls will kill for a dude like you. in a world filled with a-holes which is probably the reason why there are gazillions who have become pessimistic on love, here you are putting your heart out! Kudos to you Mr. Quillamor. =)
ReplyDeleteDoesnt "door hinge" rhyme with "orange"..? Okay, wala lang, ang epal q. >< sorry. Great posts though, and i love listening to you guys on my way home from school. Hehe. :)
ReplyDelete:]
ReplyDeleteSocialization are encouraged when an eye sees a hue of orange,
ReplyDeleteBut you had this color everyday, so i find silence around you so strange.
(pbbt, just tried your trip, realized it's not my thing though.. hahahaha...)
we love differently that what we can do is feel for the person...the last love we had...the next one we will have...its always different. Don't think that you cannot love anymore...think of what the next love will feel...lost love only linger as much when we want them too..
ReplyDeletethis is a nice read
ReplyDelete'Because that's what you do for the people you love, you'll give them A,B,C and all of the above' -
ReplyDeleteOh boy! I did this too...
I can totally relate. And with what you've written, it's evident it's heartfelt. I've also just read until Chapter 3 of your story. Can't wait to read the 4th. You've actually awaken me from a dry spell of misery, and confusion. Made me feel I'm not alone. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteIt's a far cry but I hope we can be friends.
Nice reading this. I can't help but to quote some lines on my Twitter and FB acct.
ReplyDeleteI can relate. Hahays!
nice post:,
ReplyDeleteI just read your entries. I don't know if I'll feel relieved to know that there is someone on the same boat. Mine's still fresh. I had a really devastating holiday :(
ReplyDeleteNo word from him, no return calls either. Setting each other free is more of his decision. It left me with no choice. If you had "kahit kailan", i know have "nothing".
I just hope you're better now. You're a good guy, and as how my friends are picking me up with inspirational cliches; your story also encouraged me to think outside this beating muscle. I hope to read more from you. Good luck and God Speed! :D
kuya gino..... T.T kakaiyak naman.....i know God has a better plans for you to come.....
ReplyDelete-michie:) -
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