Thursday, December 31, 2009

My dear john letter to 2009

Dear 2009,

First off I'd like to thank you for the wonderful things that you've brought into my life. You gave me a good job, you gave me enough finances to sustain my needs, and well you gave me a lot of good times. So for that I thank you, I'd also like to say that you were kind of a bitch for taking away Michael Jackson, Francis M, Brittany Murphy, Patrick Swayze and the thousands of Filipinos that you took during typhoon Ondoy.

Now on to more personal things, I don't know why you just had to screw with my head so much, what did I ever do to you? I mean here I was trying to live a peaceful happy life then you just had to go ahead and screw it all up. What's up with that? I mean you know for a fact that more often than not I have good intentions, why did you have to change all of that at certain periods of time? Why would you make me do things that I've never done before? I'm glad that I'm just writing this for you because I don't know what I'd do to you if I ever bumped into you again. I know this may sound bitter but I'm glad that you and I are done, I don't think I can handle you anymore. A little bit more time with you and I'd seriously consider jumping this ship that is life. Why do you constantly bring my hopes up then tear it down right after I'm starting to feel a semblance of happiness? Did anyone ever do that to you? More often than not people just hope for you to be good to them, but alas it doesn't work for everyone does it? I know that it didn't for me. I just want you to know that when you and I started I treated you with the utmost respect and you just spat on me. So before you go claiming that you're the shit of this decade..

I'mma let you finish, but I think that 2008 was better than you.

Gino Quillamor

Saturday, December 26, 2009

If Star Wars had facebook it'd look a lot like this

Seriously I haven't laughed about anything online in a long time. Star Wars FTW! :)

Thursday, December 24, 2009

The holiday spirit.

If you read my blog, then you'll probably realize that it's been a while since I last posted anything. Things have been going pretty well in my life lately, I've been having a lot of fun going out with new found friends and all. I've seriously been having loads of fun this Christmas season because it's also my birthday month so as you can probably imagine it's a bunch of parties left and right. I haven't really had a lot of alone time lately which is I guess what I was after too.

And so comes Christmas eve. After dinner with my parents I immediately went home mostly due to the fact that I was completely exhausted this entire week. The minute I get home I get on my computer and put in a steady playlist on my I-tunes, get myself a glass of amaretto sprite and the first song that plays is Katy Perry's - Thinking of you. This song brings back a LOT of memories, good ones, which is what makes it very bitter sweet. Remembering something that you used to have, something which you thoroughly enjoyed, and something you still miss up to today. I'm happy for the year that has been but somehow it deeply saddens me that I have to leave it behind. Leaving 2009 behind is very painful because along with it I had to leave people behind as well. If I had it my way it wouldn't turn out like this but hey everyone knows you don't always get what you want. Never underestimate the power of songs, no matter what song it is, it will always take you back to a certain time or memory that could either be amazingly happy for you or terribly saddening. I guess it's just right that I am a DJ.

So to the year that has been and to the people who have touched my life this year, I wish you all the best. You know who you are, I just hope you read this. I truly, sincerely and whole-heartedly wish that you find love & happiness and I honestly hope I find that too.

Merry Christmas everyone. :)

Saturday, December 12, 2009


I've been a host for almost 3 years now, I've hosted company parties, corporate events, parties, debuts, weddings, birthday parties, kiddie parties, school fairs, concerts etc. But nothing could have prepared me for the hosting that I had yesterday.

I hosted a eulogy for my friend's uncle who I got to hang out with as well.

It's amazing how much of an emotional roller coaster a wake can be, A lot of people who were a lot closer to the celebrant than I was spoke about him too. The reason why I say celebrant is because I'd really like to think that he's in a better place, therefore it should be a cause for celebration. Now I know for a fact that I wasn't the only one who thought of this as well, but how do you honestly expect to be happy knowing that you'll never get to hang out with this person again, knowing that you wont hear his voice, his laugh, or see his face again? Even if you know that he is in a better place it's still undoubtedly one of the most difficult things you can do. People laughed, people cried, most of them started off with the memories they had of him, the good times. They tried their very best to keep the mood light and happy but at the end of it all, remembering all of the good things made them realize how much they would miss him.

I'm not bragging or anything but I consider myself to be a relatively okay host, but in a situation like this I don't think that really counts. I said a lot of things yesterday but I didn't want to share all the memories I had of him. So instead I'll write it down here, I know that possibly a million people could view this (I highly doubt that) but I consider this to be my own little private space where I can really say (or type) what's on my mind. So I'd like to share my own farewell for him from a non-hosting perspective.

Tito Nilo, you were one of the most generous people I've ever met and trust me I know a lot of generous people, you never brought about bad vibes whenever we were hanging out, you never expected anything in return for your generosity despite our efforts to try to repay you. You were an amazing defender for basketball, and a really awesome "bro". A lot of us looked up to you in a way that you possibly couldn't have understood. I know that you had a lot of things you still needed to do, but I'm sure that at the very end you figured out that you did so much more than what everyone expected of you.

From Basketball, to Jolibee, to fiamma, and to isshin. In the many many times that you showed your generosity to us. I hope that when I spoke for your eulogy I was somehow able to repay you for all the kindness that you showed us. I know you never asked for anything in return but I hope that you would consider what I did yesterday as a final gift to you.

Rest in peace Tito Nilo Malfatti. God speed.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

The winds of change

"The only thing that is permanent is change." - Heraclitus

It's amazing how fast we can adapt to certain situations. A few weeks ago I was feeling terrible, I felt like I was at a low point of my life. I wasn't coping very well with being single since I'm not very used to it.

With no major event happening in my life, without any trigger of any sort. I just woke up and said it's time to stop moping around. All of a sudden everything seemed okay, everything feels alright. I don't feel the need to be with somebody, not that I'm saying that I don't that want to happen but I just don't think it's a necessity anymore. I'm coping with it pretty well, just enjoying whatever it is that I'm doing as of the moment. Simple things from basketball, to going out with friends, playing xbox, playing a multiplayer game with friends. Everything seems enjoyable, I guess you just have to find your niche. They say that the human body can only take chemical imbalances (i.e. Love, Depression, Anger) for a certain amount of time. I guess that amount of time has passed for me.

I'll end this entry with a quote from one of my favorite zombie films. Zombieland.

"Rule #32 in zombieland. Enjoy the little things."

Thursday, December 3, 2009

The best of both worlds

First off, good morning world. It's the first time that I'm actually writing a blog entry in the morning. I literally just woke up and my mind is still pretty much fresh from dreamland.

I remember having a conversation with my friend yesterday about Barney Stinson and Ted Mosby. If you don't know who these two are they're characters from how I met your mother. Barney is a smooth talking, amazingly colorful, womanizing, Armani clad man full of awesomeness. Whereas Ted is a failed architect turned professor. He's terrible at dating and he pretty much doesn't really dress up. He's a total romantic sap. Now this friend of mine and I just share one thing in common, we both just got out of long-term relationships. If I remember correctly he broke up with his girlfriend 1 week after my relationship ended. So as you can pretty much imagine I guess we're both going through the same thing.

We talked about how he feels like he's Ted Mosby disguised as Barney and how much he wanted to be just like Barney. 1 shallow one night stand after the other, with the ability to be un-emotional when it comes to relationships. Yes, I agree that there is an upside to this because well at least you don't get hurt, but what I pointed out to him was that at the end of it all even if the Ted Mosbys' of the world are more often than not disappointed and hurt, at the end of it all we're the ones who find TRUE happiness. The Barney Stinsons' of the world may have fun now but at the end of the day they lead empty, hollow lives. And then it got me to thinking, wouldn't it be amazing if you had the ability to switch between these two characters at will? Being completely emotion-less as you're going through the dating ranks then once you find someone who you feel is going to be terrific together with you, you suddenly switch to Ted mode?

At the end of the conversation I remember telling him one thing, If we're both so sick of just being depressed, maybe it's time we get back into the game :)

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


Yes the title pretty much says it all. For those of you who cannot handle cheese, this is it. Turn back now.

I know that stereotypically I'm not supposed to want cuddling up, spooning, curling up in bed with someone and watching dvds or something to that effect but sue me because that's what I miss the most.

The one thing I truly miss about being in a relationship with somebody is exactly that, the quality time. I'm not gonna be a hypocrite though and say that I didn't enjoy sex or whatever (yes that's an open admission that I'm not a virgin anymore, big whoop) but yeah, sappy as it may seem I really miss the quality time. I guess I sort of miss the routines of being in a relationship as well, things that seem like they're chores when you're in a relationship are the things that you miss when you're not in one. I don't fully understand why people are like that? Why do people only realize things they have when they're already gone. And even if you go through it again, chances are you'll get sick of it again and let it go. Rinse & repeat. Why is it so hard to condition the human mind into just being content? I know for a fact that this ambition, or this drive for something better has a good side to it because you'll constantly be on the lookout for something better, but is there a point where you can literally just tell your mind "Stop! I'm fine with this. No more hunting for better things"?

Contentment (Who by the way is friends with Expectations and Reality. They're like the mean girls/plastics of the Word World.) is such a bitch to find, always hiding, always making you think that you've got it already then once you have it in your hands all of a sudden it slips off into nothingness. Then you're back to square one.

I know that ambition is a powerful driving force, but is there a way to contain it only to certain aspects of life? I mean don't get me wrong, it's not like I wanna settle down already or anything, but maybe I just want somebody I can call on whenever I've got good news, or bad news, or any news for that matter. Maybe I just want somebody to be there for me, in the same way that I would be there for her. Maybe I just want someone who I can hold for however long I want to hold where it wont feel awkward and you don't have to politely back down. Maybe I just want to see someone smile at me not just because you haven't seen each other in a while, or because you said something funny but because they're just truly happy to see you. Maybe a part of me wants someone to go home to, or to go home for. They say Sagittariuses are free spirits, they say that we thrive on freedom and we're sucky at relationships.

They may have been right about the latter part, but I highly disagree with the former.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

on the wire.

To start things off I had a terrific weekend. For the first time in two years I finally took a vacation just to sort of rejuvenate for the past 2 years of non-stop working I guess. Don't get me wrong I'm very thankful that I've been incredibly busy for the 2 years I've been working but I guess this was just a much needed break from work, life and I guess at some point myself as well.

I spent the 1st night just looking up at the stars for a good hour and a half until my neck started to hurt and one very silly yet meaningful quote came out of that night, "The world is just like a vagina, you just have to find the right spot". I know that most of you probably think this is stupid, but seriously I found meaning in this for some strange reason. I think I have found my general spot, I guess I sort of just have to fine tune my territory if you know what I mean.

If you've read my blog I'm sure you'd notice that I'm not really 100% happy with the way life is right now, I mean seriously doesn't take a rocket-scientist to figure that out but as a silver lining to this incredibly dark cloud that I'm moving through right now. I think I've finally found where I want to be and it's right here where I am now. I just have to work for a few more things to make it completely or to say it in a more realistic manner to be extremely close to perfection when it comes to life.

I've never really realized the importance of vacations, until now. I started to think that I like my life, I love my job, and I love the friends that I have. Vacations give you time to clear your mind to realize all the good things that you've got going for you. It makes you see what you're missing out on or in my case what I was missing. When I went back home I felt incredibly happy.

I never knew the world was this nice, you just have to find the right perspective when you're looking at it :)