Yes the title pretty much says it all. For those of you who cannot handle cheese, this is it. Turn back now.
I know that stereotypically I'm not supposed to want cuddling up, spooning, curling up in bed with someone and watching dvds or something to that effect but sue me because that's what I miss the most.
The one thing I truly miss about being in a relationship with somebody is exactly that, the quality time. I'm not gonna be a hypocrite though and say that I didn't enjoy sex or whatever (yes that's an open admission that I'm not a virgin anymore, big whoop) but yeah, sappy as it may seem I really miss the quality time. I guess I sort of miss the routines of being in a relationship as well, things that seem like they're chores when you're in a relationship are the things that you miss when you're not in one. I don't fully understand why people are like that? Why do people only realize things they have when they're already gone. And even if you go through it again, chances are you'll get sick of it again and let it go. Rinse & repeat. Why is it so hard to condition the human mind into just being content? I know for a fact that this ambition, or this drive for something better has a good side to it because you'll constantly be on the lookout for something better, but is there a point where you can literally just tell your mind "Stop! I'm fine with this. No more hunting for better things"?
Contentment (Who by the way is friends with Expectations and Reality. They're like the mean girls/plastics of the Word World.) is such a bitch to find, always hiding, always making you think that you've got it already then once you have it in your hands all of a sudden it slips off into nothingness. Then you're back to square one.
I know that ambition is a powerful driving force, but is there a way to contain it only to certain aspects of life? I mean don't get me wrong, it's not like I wanna settle down already or anything, but maybe I just want somebody I can call on whenever I've got good news, or bad news, or any news for that matter. Maybe I just want somebody to be there for me, in the same way that I would be there for her. Maybe I just want someone who I can hold for however long I want to hold where it wont feel awkward and you don't have to politely back down. Maybe I just want to see someone smile at me not just because you haven't seen each other in a while, or because you said something funny but because they're just truly happy to see you. Maybe a part of me wants someone to go home to, or to go home for. They say Sagittariuses are free spirits, they say that we thrive on freedom and we're sucky at relationships.
They may have been right about the latter part, but I highly disagree with the former.